Journals in Kojen-7/20

I think I'm probably dead already. I don't know how to start a free-writing. I know you would say, "well, it's not htat terrible." But if you cuold just find out how many sheets I have ripped off from this notebook, you would understand how serious the problem is.
A lots of writing guidebook say that the most difficult thing is to think of yor first sentense. Well, it sounds very true to me. Every time I want to write down something meaningful. I could only think of few sentenses. And that's it, after that, my brain seems to stop functioning.