Now this is my plan for X'mas. How's that?

As the holiday is around the corner, more and more people begin to ask me about my plan for X'mas. "I haven't come up with any idea yet." " I didn't give it a thought yet" were my typical response to their questions. Don't get me wrong if I didn't make myself clear- I did feel worried when I saw my classmates talking about how and where they were going to spend their vacations. Yet my mind kept telling me, "How dare you to go on a vacation while leaving your families in Taiwan, working and missing me?" Two weeks ago, I walked into a travel agency near our school, looking for a package tour to Mexico/ CA with a last-minute price. Within minutes, I was led to an agent, who handed her business card over swiftly. There is no deal at the end of our conversation. It's not because of her, nor the tour. It's simply because of my ambivalence.

Learn to live with it...

There are always new vocabularies, oral mistakes and illogic essays.
You just have to live with it. I started to feel that the sooner I realize pursuing a law career is
my last resort, the better I can survive without having to look back.

I know I am not much of a social person. Sometimes I feel that I unconciously put on a long face to scare away people around me. I should think out of something to deal with it. I should stop being cynical and open my heart to other people. Everyone has a corner in his/her mind to hide things that should be known only to themselves.

I felt frustrated lately. Why? I kept asking myself this question. It seems to me that I thought I could improve my english overnight.

I am being tortured everyday.

It's been almost two months that I come to the U.S. People keep telling me that my english is good and assure me that I will have to problem living in the states. But none of them is U.S citizen, their opinion to is, therefore, of no credits. I am already 26 yrs old. I don't think there's another oppotunity for me to change my career, and since I've made up my mind that I choose to be a lawyer as my life career, I should just stay and prepare for the law exam. I have to recognize that there's no way back.

7th Dec 2009, I'm in the U.S.

Many many years later when I am so old that I have to use magnifying glass to read this article, I will be astonished by myself, trying to figure out how the hell is that- wrote down the note saying that I was about to fly to Russian and , all of a sudden, appear to be in the U.S today.

The fact is I was in Russia and made some friends there. Some of them I still keep in touch with, the others I felt ashamed to have lost track of them.
Let's review a little bit about the question- why did I travel to Russia?
Well, no. Nothing. Nothing comes to my mind at this moment. Wait...
It seems like I was gonna to take a test and see if I could get a job in China or Taiwan. Ok, that was the plan. What happened then? I tried, in the beginning, keeping my head in the books and even hired a tutor for everyday converstion practice. It turns that this tutor was more motivated and enthusiastic than me.