Now this is my plan for X'mas. How's that?

As the holiday is around the corner, more and more people begin to ask me about my plan for X'mas. "I haven't come up with any idea yet." " I didn't give it a thought yet" were my typical response to their questions. Don't get me wrong if I didn't make myself clear- I did feel worried when I saw my classmates talking about how and where they were going to spend their vacations. Yet my mind kept telling me, "How dare you to go on a vacation while leaving your families in Taiwan, working and missing me?" Two weeks ago, I walked into a travel agency near our school, looking for a package tour to Mexico/ CA with a last-minute price. Within minutes, I was led to an agent, who handed her business card over swiftly. There is no deal at the end of our conversation. It's not because of her, nor the tour. It's simply because of my ambivalence.