Now this is my plan for X'mas. How's that?

As the holiday is around the corner, more and more people begin to ask me about my plan for X'mas. "I haven't come up with any idea yet." " I didn't give it a thought yet" were my typical response to their questions. Don't get me wrong if I didn't make myself clear- I did feel worried when I saw my classmates talking about how and where they were going to spend their vacations. Yet my mind kept telling me, "How dare you to go on a vacation while leaving your families in Taiwan, working and missing me?" Two weeks ago, I walked into a travel agency near our school, looking for a package tour to Mexico/ CA with a last-minute price. Within minutes, I was led to an agent, who handed her business card over swiftly. There is no deal at the end of our conversation. It's not because of her, nor the tour. It's simply because of my ambivalence.

Learn to live with it...

There are always new vocabularies, oral mistakes and illogic essays.
You just have to live with it. I started to feel that the sooner I realize pursuing a law career is
my last resort, the better I can survive without having to look back.

I know I am not much of a social person. Sometimes I feel that I unconciously put on a long face to scare away people around me. I should think out of something to deal with it. I should stop being cynical and open my heart to other people. Everyone has a corner in his/her mind to hide things that should be known only to themselves.

I felt frustrated lately. Why? I kept asking myself this question. It seems to me that I thought I could improve my english overnight.

I am being tortured everyday.

It's been almost two months that I come to the U.S. People keep telling me that my english is good and assure me that I will have to problem living in the states. But none of them is U.S citizen, their opinion to is, therefore, of no credits. I am already 26 yrs old. I don't think there's another oppotunity for me to change my career, and since I've made up my mind that I choose to be a lawyer as my life career, I should just stay and prepare for the law exam. I have to recognize that there's no way back.

7th Dec 2009, I'm in the U.S.

Many many years later when I am so old that I have to use magnifying glass to read this article, I will be astonished by myself, trying to figure out how the hell is that- wrote down the note saying that I was about to fly to Russian and , all of a sudden, appear to be in the U.S today.

The fact is I was in Russia and made some friends there. Some of them I still keep in touch with, the others I felt ashamed to have lost track of them.
Let's review a little bit about the question- why did I travel to Russia?
Well, no. Nothing. Nothing comes to my mind at this moment. Wait...
It seems like I was gonna to take a test and see if I could get a job in China or Taiwan. Ok, that was the plan. What happened then? I tried, in the beginning, keeping my head in the books and even hired a tutor for everyday converstion practice. It turns that this tutor was more motivated and enthusiastic than me.

I'm leaving and I'm going.

I finally made up my mind and booked a ticket to Saint Peterburg!
Even though this only thing I've done to make it happen was to pay
the agent money and they will arrange the rest for me, I still feel it was
like in a dream. Is this the thing I've wanted for these years? Is this what
I really deserve I've wondered these years?
Yet I'm going, that's the only truth. Another interesting truth is only through
experiencing it will I find out the answer.

I'm gonna make it happen!!

Time to show hand, time for a decision to be made.

Now I finally finished my military service, now I do what?
I don't know. Steven Jobs said" Don't worry if you haven't found what you're looking for, just keep searching for it."
I have been staying at home ever since I got home from the barracks. Most of the time I was just watching TV and surfing the internet for career informations.
Just when I was checking out these websites: MBA programmes, language schools, blogs written by some sales representatives based in foreign countries.

I have gathered some ideas for myself, really.
I learned that It is reasonable why only students with job experiences would be admitted to better MBA programmes, cuz it is a series of education in which combines theories and strong indutrial practices as its solid background. That is to say that students without job experiences can be seen as paying the tuition fee in exchange for a piece of paper.

Some thoughts I wrote down after we're back from outdoor-camping.

I got this feeling that . It's so weird that I find myself easily fall asleep under any kind of circumstances. I know, to those sodirs, It would be a blessed gift, given that we're living in the barrack. And being able to taking a nap can give you more time to rest.

I've been thinking of what am I going to do after finishing my military service . Nothing came to me and it scared me as hell if it never does.Because I've got only three months left. As a matter of fact, many people had asked me that question when I took a two day off.